Christmas Contest Check-In

Movie 1: Andy is one of the main characters.

Movie 2:

VS.

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Hahahaha… He Made A WNBA Lesbian Joke.

“A local sports talk radio show host apologized on the air Wednesday for anti-gay remarks he made while discussing women’s professional basketball.

Bruce Jacobs of WTMM (104.5 FM) called two WNBA teams the “Los Angeles Lesbians” and the “Phoenix Dyke-ury” during Tuesday’s broadcast. The teams are actually named the Los Angeles Sparks and Phoenix Mercury.

“My comments yesterday were ridiculous, stupid and amateurish,” Jacobs said Wednesday during a 10-minute apology. “I apologize for even uttering the comments, whether you heard them or not, whether you were offended or not.”

A Facebook page created to “Get ESPN Radio’s Bruce Jacobs OFF of the Air for Gay Slurs” had received more than 50 likes by Wednesday night.

Jacobs said in a phone interview he didn’t think he should be fired.” (TU)

“My names Bruce.” “Hiiiiiii Bruce”

Congrats man, you made a joke about something everyone and their grandma can make a joke about. WNBA jokes are like making jewish or black people jokes. There’s so many out there and anyone can make them. Wait……… Dyke-ury? That is what you came up with to replace Mercury? Your kidding me right… taking back what I said before about everyone and their grandma can make a WNBA joke… that was fucking horrendus! Holy shit… thats like missing a wide open lay-up (better WNBA joke) Bruce my friend… do less, do less!

My biggest problem with this is why they hell are you talking about the WNBA… You have a SPORTS talk radio show and you are filling it up with non-sports let alone shitty non-sports jokes. Listen, Im not here to tell you how to do your job or get listeners or anything… but you might have a better career talking about some NFL, maybe the NBA coming up, College Basketball? Ya know something that people would care to listen to. So you should be very sorry… just for a different reason.

Chris Paul Shouldn’t Be This Excited to Be A Clipper

“I’m excited to be here in L.A. with this unbelievable franchise with so much history behind it,” Paul said. Every one knows Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan signed his deal and my big brother, Chauncey Billups, who I’m excited to be playing alongside of. This is going to be an unbelievable experience.”

Really Chris? Please Explain what history you’re fucking talking about? As far I’m concerned the Clipper are the worst sports franchise in the history of American sports. They are on the verge of getting demoted to the NBDL every year, but somehow you found history through all of that. In fact lets do a little challenge here CP3. I dare you to come up with one great moment in Clippers past. And by great I don’t mean the day they got you, or the day Blake Griffin won the dunk contest, I mean one actual great moment that normal teams would consider great. You can’t? That’s fine. It was a trick question because there are none. Seriously, we all know that your pissed your playing for the sisters of the poor rather than being in a Laker uniform right now, and that you have to say positive things to the media to look good. But at least make what you say believable. You could have said your excited to play with Blake Griffin or you love the city of LA, or even you love the color red, but don’t say something so unrealistic like your excited about the history. That’s just bullshit.

What Each NFC Team Wants For Christmas

Continuing with our holiday theme, here’s what each NFC team is hoping Christmas brings them.

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks: A quarterback. How Tavaris Jackson is a starting NFL QB escapes me. Seahawks management must’ve just gotten drunk and forgot to sign anyone competent at that position.”Oh wait Marshawn’s beast mode can’t play QB?” “Oh fuck. Well I guess Tavaris can play?” Idiots.

Arizona Cardinals: Kurt Warner to un-retire. Kevin Kolb’s decent i guess but he’s been hurt all year so their stuck with some dude named John Skelton. Seriously where do NFL teams find these people? the AFL?

St. Louis Rams: The Rams just want the season to be over so they can try to move on from how much they suck. Steven Jackson wants a trade to a real NFL team. Or at least someone to put himself out of his misery.

San Fransisco 49ers: Alex Smith to step up. The 49ers are having a great season, even with Smith playing like Ryan fucking Leaf. Time for him to live up to that number 1 overall pick. Or at least warrant a 3rd rounder.

NFC South

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Players who actually care about the outcome of the game. Josh Freeman is literally the only one trying. He’s probably ready to scream at everyone of his teammates. Not Legarrette Blount tho…he’ll fuck you up.

Atlanta Falcons: Early retirement for Drew Brees.. Matt Ryan’s a good QB but he’s no Brees. The Falcons don’t have a shot until Brees is gone from the Saints.

New Orleans Saints: A secondary. Brees has Sanduskerizing defenses all year. Which he’s had to do because the Saints secondary has literally done nothing this season. Fuck it tho, why try when you have Brees to just bail you out.

Carolina Panthers: Jon Beason. Dude goes down in the first game of the season. Anchor to their defense. Cam Newton may have improved the team a lot, but the Panthers still suck too much to overcome this.

NFC North

Green Bay Packers: A re-do on the Chiefs game. The Chiefs. Are you fucking kidding me? I didn’t even know they were still playing games this year. I thought they just forfeited the rest of their games. Way to blow your perfect season.

Detroit Lions: Ndamukong Suh to chill. Stop being the dirtiest player on the face of the planet and stomping on people. Who are you trying to be Albert Haynesworth? Go back to just plain murdering quarterbacks like you’re supposed to.

Chicago Bears: Jay Cutler back. Their season pretty much went to shit after he decided he needed to get thumb surgery. The Bears weren’t ready to overcome all these injuries. Also it doesn’t help that Johnny Knox just died.

Minnesota Vikings: A refund on Donovan McNabb. Great job finding a quarterback to tutor Christian Ponder and give him time to learn the NFL game. Really fucking wonderful. Donovan please just retire so people don’t remember you like this. There’s a reason you aren’t on the Eagles anymore.

NFC East

Washington Redskins: New team name. This is literally the most racist name in all of sports. Seriously. No attempt to hide it. Karma won’t let you win bitches.

Philadelphia Eagles: A bubble for Michael Vick. This man gets pounded more times per 60 minutes than Bibi Jones. Stop getting hurt, maybe you can make the playoffs. Slide Michael. Fucking slide.

New York Giants: A new coach. This is the most inconsistent team in the NFL right now. Huge win over Dallas followed up with a terrible performance against the Redskins. Even Randy Moss put in more effort than that. Giants fans still love Tiki tho.

Dallas Cowboys: For Tony Romo to lose the “gunslinger” attitude. Really I think he throws interceptions on purpose sometimes. You’re not in high school anymore Tony. You should have figured out that you can force throws into quadruple coverage. Shit you’re going to give Jerry Jones a fucking heart attack.

A Dime And A Dream

It’s about time, I cashed this shit out in February. I’m pretty sure I (along with my cronies) put CentSports out of business single handedly once I took my dime and turned it into $120. Jimmy The Greek Who? I don’t know if i’m gonna even bother cashing this, just frame it and hang it above my bed. Anyways, if you’re into sports betting and don’t have money but want money check out Free Sports Bet.

Never thought this day would come, what a great day it is though!

PS- maybe Randy got let go from another job, because Randy don’t write checks… Straight Cash Homie!

What Each AFC Team Wants For Christmas

Christmas. The best holiday by far. Nothing beats presents and vacation combined. In honor of the holiday spirit, I’ve put together a wish list for each NFL team.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills: The Bills want a fucking re-do. What the fuck happened guys? You haven’t won since Nam. If only they could travel back to week 9 and try again from there. Fucking losers.

Miami Dolphins: The Reggie Bush from USC. Yeah the one who was deserving of a first round pick. Fast-as-shit running back who ran thru defenses like they were all Notre Dame. Run Reggie. Run like you just stole the Heisman Trophy. (Still too soon?)

New York Jets: An offense. Like one that can move the ball, get first downs and score and all that shit. Revis can only return so many interceptions.

New England Patriots: A defense. Brady and company are dominating so much that people forget that the Pats secondary is easier to penetrate than Paris Hilton.

AFC North

Cincinnati Bengals: An acting coach. Specifically one for Jerome Simpson.

Pittsburgh Steelers: A second Ray Lewis murder charge. The only team thats given the Steelers trouble this season is the Ravens. With Lewis and Suggs continuously beating the shit out of the Steelers offense, maybe its time for an ‘anonymous’ tip on some new information? Just an idea.

Clevelend Browns: Who fucking knows. They suck. They’ve always sucked. I don’t think there’s anything that can save this franchise. Hows about we move them to LA and start over. At least there people will care about them. Fuck.

Baltimore Ravens: Hoverounds. Their aging defense needs a new burst of speed. Specifically the often injured Ray Lewis needs a more effective way of patrolling side line to side line. Maybe Old Man Ed Reed has an extra one in his crib.

AFC South

Indianapolis Colts: Peyton. Fucking. Manning. Jesus who knew they were this terrible without him. Have fun with that QB controversy next season.

Tennessee Titans: A clutch player. CJ0k got his money so I guess he only runs good when he feels like it. Fucker. Matt Hasselbeck’s starting to look more like Tim Hasselbeck. Jake Locker is gonna have to put the team on his back next year. Jennings style.

Houston Texans: Fans. Someone to give a fuck. Its gotta be hard to come out and play every week if no one gives a shit.

Jacksonville Jaguars: A professional quarterback. Yeah I know Blaine Gabbert is young but holy shit. He’s got MJD to occupy defenses. Andy Dalton’s young too and his running back went to jail during the season for fucks sake. You don’t see him complaining.

AFC West

Denver Broncos: For Tim Tebow to pretend its the 4th quarter every quarter. You can’t pray for a comeback/divine intervention every week. Its football, Tim. Not church group. Stop being so nice.

Oakland Raiders: Someone to magically heal Darren McFadden and protect him from injury. They were having such a good season and playing so un-Raider-like until he got hurt. Run-DMC’s looking more like Soulja Boy this second half of the season.

Kansas City Chiefs: A training staff. Jamaal Charles, Eric Berry, Tony Moeaki all go down with ACL injuries. Then Matt Cassel can’t take it anymore so he breaks his own hand. Talk about some bad luck.

San Diego Chargers: A mulligan for weeks 7-12. Not many teams can lose 6 in a row and still be in playoff contention come mid-December. But that’s the AFC West for you. What a shit show.

We’ll do the NFC tomorrow.

What Happened With The NFL Today?

What the fuck happened? Complete chaos. The Packers lose their perfect season to the Chiefs, a team about to be deported to the CFL. The Colts win their first game with some dude named Dan Orlovsky as their quarterback. Reggie Bush ran like he’s playing for the Heisman. (Too Soon Reggie?) And this.

There was a few things that made sense however. Eli Manning quickly reminded everyone that he’s no Tom Brady. Elite quarterback? Child please. The Eagles finally played like the team Andy Reid sold his soul for. Although he still needs a translator to understand DeSean Jackson. And of course, the Bills continue to show that they are the Mets of the NFL. No matter how crazy and loyal their fans are, they will always suck.

Speaking of crazy fans…

(Final Score: Dallas 52, Buffalo 17)