BREAKING NEWS: Tim Tebow Injured during playoff game.

This is a Something Like Upstate breaking news update. Our Lord and Savior, also known as Tim Tebow, the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos  had to play through a very serious injury during last weeks playoff loss against the New England Patriots. It is now confirmed that he had to play while being paralyzed from the neck down after a second quarter hit. It is just a miracle that he is walking now let alone playing football, but this certainly explains his poor performance. Doctors are still baffled about Tebow’s quick recovery and toughness, but in my opinion i’m frankly disappointed that he let the injury affect his performance to such an extent. Come on Man!

Chris Paul Shouldn’t Be This Excited to Be A Clipper

“I’m excited to be here in L.A. with this unbelievable franchise with so much history behind it,” Paul said. Every one knows Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan signed his deal and my big brother, Chauncey Billups, who I’m excited to be playing alongside of. This is going to be an unbelievable experience.”

Really Chris? Please Explain what history you’re fucking talking about? As far I’m concerned the Clipper are the worst sports franchise in the history of American sports. They are on the verge of getting demoted to the NBDL every year, but somehow you found history through all of that. In fact lets do a little challenge here CP3. I dare you to come up with one great moment in Clippers past. And by great I don’t mean the day they got you, or the day Blake Griffin won the dunk contest, I mean one actual great moment that normal teams would consider great. You can’t? That’s fine. It was a trick question because there are none. Seriously, we all know that your pissed your playing for the sisters of the poor rather than being in a Laker uniform right now, and that you have to say positive things to the media to look good. But at least make what you say believable. You could have said your excited to play with Blake Griffin or you love the city of LA, or even you love the color red, but don’t say something so unrealistic like your excited about the history. That’s just bullshit.